Who Am I?

Who am I? What is this life? Why am I here? Why did I survive? What is the meaning of life?

Most of life will be very philosophical. People will explain how they 'think' the world first existed, without humans, and how we evolved from our solar system.

Most of the philosophisers were born in the time science was not yet considered to true. This means in the times of Galileo, Archimedes and many other great scientists nobody believed what they said. Especially the church.

So instead of asking Galileo why the sun goes down, philosophisers would say: 'There is a candle that gets ignited in the morning and blown out at night by a giant.'

You would think now this is craziness, but back in then it was what most people believed.

This is because science was just starting to form.

Well I say that, but science has been around since the Big Bang until now. The point I am trying to make is that science in 300 B.C was not even talked about, but it existed. It was only until people had physical proof that something did not exist from a giant. But then again many people, now, still do not believe in science.

So why do we exist on this planet, you may ask? Well ironically science created us.

Due to Charles Darwin we discovered that we evolved from Apes and grew into humans.

Pretty cool right?

We evolved from a species of animal and turned into a bigger and, possibly, better creation of species.

Now I know that most humans are a good example of evolution being a good thing, however there are those select few who decide to be self-centred.

We all have it in us. There is always a biological instinct to know where food and water is. There is always an instinct to run away to in a situation including fear (It is called the 'fight or flight response'). But as humans we overcome those instincts we no longer need and we evolve from them.

Science is a luxury to the human brain.

So who am I?

I am a human who was not well equipped to start life. My body cannot function without help. Plus, the trauma and experiences that I have gone through is more than most peoples lifetime.

If I had lived decades ago I would not have lived past my second birthday.

Which to look at is a marvel how science has dramatically changed, and evolved over centuries.

Science practically ,and continues to, save my life.

When I was younger I suffered from a tumour called: Neuroblastoma.

It is an aggressive cancer which is as horrible as it sounds.

My body endured eighteen months of treatment before I went into remission.

Now most people think when someone goes into remission from having had cancer, they do not need any further treatment or appointments.

How they are so wrong...

After nearly thirteen years of remission my body continues to deteriorate.

It sucks, really it does.

My body lost a lot of its natural functions, so I now take medication to make it work again.

I lost my hearing, my future as a parent, my use of using my muscles and much more.

Granted science has given me part of my hearing back and repairs functions that will not work without it, but there are always flaws in a perfect plan.

However, life has granted me times I have lived normally which I have enjoyed.

I know more than most people how important life is. It is not a free ride. It is a hard ride, believe me. Most people will take it for granted, which is perfectly normal to do.

How can you know what a difficult life is like when yours is perfect?

A perfectly normal life is a slap in a face to people who have survived cancer.

Well this is my opinion.

My life will never go back to normality, how can it? When all I seem to do is get new diagnoses every year?

My life is my downfall and filled with irony.

Hospital trips never seem to end.

Waiting never seems to go fast.

Appointments somehow seem to slow down current time (hey Albert Einstein explain that one for me).

Every time I see a hospital letter my body just gives up, even before I go.

Because this is my life as a teenager survivor.

Not amazing Instagram photos, cold cappuccinos, boyfriends or an easy life.

This is who I am.

Most days it bothers me.

However, some days it gives me a purpose.

Living my life may be exhausting and medically infused, but who am I to say that does not make me who I am?

It makes me read science books, study harder, raise awareness of problems I (and others) have, listen to old music, watch geeky and fictional shows and finally it gives me a chance to prove my body wrong.

You have no idea the countless times my body has wanted to disappear or completely fade away, but I have never given up. Not once. I am a cat with nine or more lives.

You see we are all scientifically the same.

We are the same species.

We populate the entire globe that we live on.

We make incredible discoveries.

We are people who deep down want to survive this life we live in.

I was warned when I was first admitted in hospital all of those years ago, I would not make it past the weekend.

Look at me now.

I am alive.

Yes I may still struggle, but that is inevitable. Every person struggles.

This is my life.

This is who I am.

This is my story

Molly-Tastic Treves